Almost every new parent or caregiver of a baby has experienced a long bout with a crying baby. Some call the baby "colicky," some call her "cranky," but no matter what the name, it can be very difficult on even the most patient parent.

What can you do to relieve your tension when the baby cries incessantly? There are specific ways to get through this time, and they're important to learn. With extreme frustration, the temptation is to grab and shake the baby--which can result in permanent brain damage.

Don't get to this point. Have a plan ready to help take care of yourself.

The first step is to let go of assigning fault in the situation.

"Don't blame the baby--she can't help it," says Katherine Gordy Levine, a psychotherapist and author of Parents are People Too (Penguin Books, 1997). "Don't blame yourself. You are doing the best you can."

Levine, who has advised parents and been a foster parent, offers specific ideas:

1. Sleep when you can. "Priorities at this stage should be feeding yourself, feeding your baby, changing her, and sleeping," she says.

2. Use self-soothing exercises, such as deep breathing and visualization.

3. Arrange for time away from the baby. Hire a sitter, exchange babysitting, or call helpful relatives and trusted friends to babysit.

4. When you are alone with baby and cannot comfort her, put her in her crib, make sure she is safe, and without leaving the house, get away from the screaming. Play comforting music or take a shower.

5. If you're in a new place or can't reach your helpers and feel you're going to become abusive, call or go to a neighborhood church or synagogue for help.

6. Use a slogan to help you get them through these times. "My all-time favorite is 'Now is not forever,'" says Levine. She adds: "Be patient. You and your baby will survive and eventually even thrive."